Friends with emotional benefits is a newer version of ‘friends with benefits’. It is safe to assume that we have all heard about the concept of ‘friends with benefits’, more commonly known as FWB. It wasn’t just designed for Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman to star in clichéd chick flicks, the arrangement does exist and we are not sure if it works. Just like many relationships, the common outcome of FWB also, at times, is one of the two parties getting hurt. So why are these not called relationships? The only reasons they are not called relationships are because they are officially commitment-free, questions-free and hassle-free. You don’t need to explain FWBs to your friends; you don’t need to introduce this “friend” to your other friends or need to explain anything. It’s just casual sex with a person you’re comfortable around. Period.
The complication arises when one of the two parties starts expecting more than the laid rules. Again, like a relationship, expectations don’t get delivered and the usual shit hits the ceiling and the FWB arrangement ends. There are rare cases when they do end on a mutual agreement too but like we said, these are rare. And the discomfort about ending these on a bad note is the physical part, the whole reason you got into one. When FWB gets too much for you to take or if you’re not ready to share your private, physical space with someone but still need the benefits of a non-committed relationship; friends with emotional benefits kicks in.
‘Friends with emotional benefits’ is really a relationship without the sex and the commitment. So you get the pampering part, the whining part, the inside jokes, the late calls but no sex. It’s like being in a relationship in your head but not on paper. This arrangement remains comfortable for people who are not up for sharing their physical space with a friend yet need emotional support to get through things in life. But like all other arrangements, this also comes with its list of dos and don’ts.
#1 Confide but do not expect
In an FWeB, you may confide in this friend and talk about him/her about any problems; personal or professional and ask for their advice. Where you need to stop is expecting them to do the same. FWeBs do not qualify for a two-way street. The other party might offer you tips to get through your problems but it does not necessarily mean that you get to offer your opinions too (until asked for).
#2 Both the parties are allowed to have physical relationships with other people, but honesty is the key
The entire point of having an FWeB is to give the emotions an outlet. Sex or hook-ups with your FWeB is a big NO. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t venture out for your physical needs. If you or your friend are physically involved with other people, it’s okay but be honest about it. Let your FWeB know that you are and come to a mutual agreement about it.
#3 FWeBs do not turn into real relationships unless both of them want it to be like that
Having friends with emotional benefits is actually harder than having a friend with just physical benefits because the boundaries get blurred here. Friends with emotional benefits are not relationships and should not be confused for being one. They are just people you can talk to and get out of it whenever you want (with a mutual agreement of course). If you wanted to be with this person for real, wouldn’t it have been a commitment?
#4 Know where to draw the line
In an FWeB, you’re essentially just friends. Maintaining that is important. Do not take this equation to realms that confuse things, and if that happens, we suggest end it. Emotional benefits can last for very long or for a very short duration depending on how comfortable people are. Stick to them till the time they are stress-free because that’s the actual point of them.
What do you think about friends with emotional benefits? Let us know in the comments section below.
